thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
