I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
