and you said cock pushups were impossible
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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