i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
