her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
