Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
