I wanna bring you to show and tell
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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