He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
