I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
