your parents love me but you hate me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
