what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
