A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
