Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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