I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
