chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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