i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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