I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
