So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
