god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
