"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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