I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
