East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
where am i from again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
