I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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