Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
