then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
