I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
