Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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