I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
