She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
