I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
