Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
