I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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