Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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