You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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