I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have already put on my inside pants.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
