Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i now understand why vodka
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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