Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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