Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
