My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
