so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
