I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
