If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
