pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Green mimosas i think yes
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
