Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
