We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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