I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
