We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
