U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
