so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
