i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
