If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
