I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
